"I am myself, like you somehow"

I haven't written in awhile-- a solid two years and three months if you will. So much has changed-- I've loved, lost, and lost even more. My dearest father passed away six months ago and nothing can ever be the same. I don't laugh as much any longer and when I do the sound is unrecognizable. The pain has left me somewhat numb and singing, dancing, exercising, socializing just provide temporary respite from the constant struggle.

Is this the rest of my life?

Meanwhile, the Central Coast couldn't be more beautiful-- rolling green hills despite the lack of water, sunshine and puffy clouds, wildflowers in bloom, and the mighty ocean a new hue every morning and every evening.

Who knew this would be my life?

A tribute to my younger days, but lyrics that are hauntingly familiar and so applicable now. I never thought they would be.

"Oh dear Dad/ can you see me now? / I am myself/ like you somehow"

Miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. See you in the next rainbow, Dad.